...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
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