I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Randomize
