i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
as a side note pls kill me
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
