The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
