Pants 0. Shit 1.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
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