I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
