OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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