break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
two words...techno handjob
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
