don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
