it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
