Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
My underwear smells like fireworks.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
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