I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
