Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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