he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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