physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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