dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
