Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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