Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize