like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
