Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
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