don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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