You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
