I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Randomize
