He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You pole danced in your parka.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
