Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize