Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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