I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Randomize
