If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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