I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
