so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Randomize