if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
We need to get me chipped asap
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize