you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
