you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
