So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
