Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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