Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
