I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I need to wash the frat house off of me
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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