saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
These tits shall not be calmed
Randomize
