all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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