It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
