her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Randomize
