I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
This beer is not sobering me up at all
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Let's get the cat blown out
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
