I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
