How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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