I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Randomize
