How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
