I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
