let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
