i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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