You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
