never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
