ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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