ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
