would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
