Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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