She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
