We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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