Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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